Don’t Take Sorrow!

Sr. Kiran explains the difference between pain and sorrow, why another’s sorrow is not meant for personal consumption and how to avoid making a meal of it!

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

Having been raised a Christian, the wisdom of the Golden Rule and its derivatives were a big part of my understanding about how one should live one’s life. I also inherited a somewhat dim view of my own worth and a keen sense of my own shortcomings, which meant my worst fear was that criticism and condemnation might be ‘done unto me’. I therefore made special effort to be non-judgmental and forgiving, hoping that would be ‘done unto me’ instead.

Whenever something was done unto me from which I took sorrow, I added it to my inner landscape of low self esteem, for I believed that sorrow was my lot. “Mea culpa” was my subconscious motto. Yet often my immediate feeling was “I don’t deserve this!” Knowing that “as I sowed, so I would have to reap,” I refrained from deliberately giving anyone sorrow in return. However, I was not above silently blaming and cursing the person I thought responsible and secretly wishing them sorrow.

I know that I’m not the only one that does this! How often we button our lips and denounce others in our minds. We accuse and blame through our thoughts while feigning a smile. Or we write the other person off in our ‘book’ and gradually excuse ourselves from keeping their company. We think this doesn’t matter because there’s no ‘hard’ evidence that we’ve actually hurt anyone. We feel justified in our judgment and never consider there may be a price to pay for making it. Most of the time we don’t even realize we’ve made a judgment. Our attitude feels so ‘right’, so correct. When even our close relationships aren’t working very well, we never consider that our own mental attitude has anything to do with it.

My continuing search for wisdom eventually led me beyond the teachings of the Christian faith, beyond forays into many other religious, philosophical and occult studies and onto a more spiritual path on which I have felt at ease for over 27 years. I have learned (and am still learning) that sorrow is not my fundamental lot, but rather a temporary condition which has a beginning and an end. I am gaining an understanding of myself which includes a positive, wholesome vision of my original nature; an understanding which encourages me to accept my shortcomings without negating my value as an individual. Oddly enough, I’ve found that compassionate acceptance of my shortcomings is the prerequisite to moving beyond them.

Managing Thoughts

Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking and that whatever you are not thinking and that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are some simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life.

1. BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS:
Start watching your thoughts, without identifying them. At the outset thoughts are like the waves of the ocean, which do not stop even for a moment like the watch ticking, it's way. Do not be discouraged by the fact that you are becoming a part of your thoughts. Just watch your thoughts as an observer. You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. What you need to do whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back as a detached observer. Just watch after some time you will be able to know your negative thoughts. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Unnecessary thoughts should be cut to improve the quality of necessary ones.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:
Keep a log book of your thoughts. Write down the happenings of the day. The log book should record both verbal and mental response. Were your thoughts positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Sometimes we ask others or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to make the initiative to start a conversation? Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Were the words used in thinking appealing to the other person, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker? Keep in mind that log books are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is very important to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.

3. REPLACE WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS:
This is an important and vital step, for, it is here that the actual switch-over to the desired state takes place. The removal of your negative thoughts should be followed by the replacement of positive ones. Our success and happiness depends on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively - both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decide the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialise themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about. External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts - but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive.

Some Tips:
Talk positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watch strap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dash board of the car. Slip them under the glass on the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day. Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker. Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetration. It is better to
break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.

The replacing thought in this case may be "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan and then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carry on with the plan, and finally succeed.

Infact, that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thoughts of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way any how - and if there is none I shall make one". Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images.

All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units

FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE LOST SO THAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE WHAT STILL REMAINS

What is mind, What is Soul or Consciousness

The body is like a temple and the soul is like the flame of light or like the deity in a temple. The body is like a car and the soul like its driver. The body is an assemblage of instruments in the shape of various organs - whereas the soul is its user. The body and the brain are like a computer whereas the soul it is that programmes it and uses it. The body is not for its own sake but for a conscient user, called the soul.

The soul is like a micro-star. It abides in the body, midway between the eye-brows, where a devout in India apply Tilak - a sacred mark. Here, it is connected with the brain and the nervous system.

The soul has three intrinsic abilities which the body or anything else, made of matter, does not possess. These are (1) the ability to think or wish or will, (2) the ability to judge, understand or investigate and (3) the ability to retain impressions of past thoughts in the form of attitudes, moods or habits. The first of these is known as Mind, the second as Intellect and the third as Samskãras, Resolves or the Latencies.

It is these abilities which distinguish one man from another and determine the mental and moral state of a person. One who is given to violence and other evils is known as a sinner, the other who makes efforts to purify his thoughts, judgment and resolves is known as a 'Mahãtma' or 'an elevated soul' whereas the one who has completely divinised himself, is called a devãtma or a deity. It should thus be clearly borne in mind that it is the soul that suffers or enjoys because of its bad or good actions, for mind is not an entity separate from the soul; rather, it is the name given to the manifestation of soul's consciousness.

This world will soon become a better place to live in and will soon have the Golden Age or the era of peace and purity if man realises the self as distinct from the body, practises soul-consciousness and, on that basis, adopts motto of World Brotherhood.In order to end the Iron Age, the society has to understand that the root cause of all sufferings and troubles in the world is that man has gradually come to identify himself with the body. Today, little does he realise, and much less does he practise the truth that, in this body which is made of inert matter, dwells a conscient and immortal entity - the eternal spark of life and light, called the soul.